🚀 Microsoft & Meta Stocks Soar, Robinhood Crushes Earnings—While Ford Flinches at Tariffs (2025-07-31)

Big Tech flexes its muscles again as Microsoft and Meta post blistering stock surges—meanwhile, Robinhood pulls off a rare earnings upset. But don’t pop the champagne yet: Ford’s sweating bullets over tariff exposure, proving even legacy giants can’t outrun geopolitical headaches.

Tech Titans Charge Ahead

No surprises here—Microsoft and Meta continue printing money like central banks on a QE bender. Their stocks ripped higher after earnings, because why wouldn’t they? The AI hype train has no brakes, and advertisers still can’t quit Zuckerberg’s attention casino.

Robinhood’s Redemption Arc?

The meme-stock punching bag actually delivered a knockout quarter. Turns out gambling—sorry, *investing*—is recession-proof when you’ve got a generation hooked on dopamine hits and option chains. Who needs fundamentals when you’ve got fractional shares and FOMO?

Ford’s Tariff Tantrum

While tech parties, Ford’s stuck cleaning up the mess. The automaker warned tariffs could dent profits—a stark reminder that not everyone gets to play in the frictionless digital economy. Some companies still have to deal with pesky realities like *physical supply chains*.

The Bottom Line

Same as it ever was: tech eats the world, disruptors disrupt, and dinosaurs grumble about the weather. But hey—at least the stock market’s still a great place to launder macroeconomic anxiety into personal wealth. Until the music stops.