CRYPTO RALLIES FURIOUSLY AS FED STAYS PATIENT—REKT EYES RECORD HIGHS
Crypto markets roar back to life as the Fed refuses to blink—while degenerates cheer REKT's near-ATH surge. Here's the breakdown.
FED HOLDS, MARKETS IGNORE:
No rate cuts, no panic. Traders shrugged off the central bank's inertia like a bored ape scrolling past another NFT rug pull. Liquidity? Still flowing. Leverage? Atrocious as ever.
REKT'S RECORD RUN:
The meme-heavy index flirts with all-time highs—proving once again that crypto's risk appetite laughs at 'overbought' signals. Just don't ask about fundamentals.
THE CYNICAL TAKE:
Wall Street still can't decide whether to ban crypto or hoover it up via ETFs. Meanwhile, retail traders YOLO into shitcoins between Uber Eats deliveries. The more things change...
