Breaking: OpenSea Manager’s Crypto Insider Trading Conviction Overturned in Landmark Case

In a stunning reversal, the first-ever crypto insider trading conviction gets tossed—proving once again that the only thing more volatile than digital assets is their legal oversight.

Subheader: The Case That Rocked NFTs

The former OpenSea product manager walked free after a judge ruled key evidence was mishandled—leaving regulators scrambling and traders shrugging. After all, when lambo?

Subheader: Regulatory Whiplash

Prosecutors vowed to retry, but the damage was done: another black eye for crypto enforcement efforts. Meanwhile, bored apes everywhere popped champagne (metaphorically—gas fees are still outrageous).

Closing thought: Maybe next time just stick to good old-fashioned stock market insider trading? At least those rules were written before the internet.