🚀 S&P 500 Smashes 6,400 for First Time Ever as CPI Report Fuels Rate Cut Frenzy

Wall Street’s bull run just hit ludicrous speed—thanks to a cooler CPI print and traders betting the Fed will slash rates faster than a crypto trader dumps a dead meme coin.

### The Inflation Effect

June’s CPI data came in softer than a Wall Street analyst’s handshake, sending the S&P 500 soaring past 6,400 like it was powered by institutional FOMO. Rate cut odds spiked harder than a DeFi token on a Binance listing rumor.

### The Fed’s Next Move

Futures markets now price in cuts like they’re discount NFTs—aggressively and with questionable timing. Meanwhile, Jamie Dimon probably just muttered ‘irrational exuberance’ into his fourth bourbon of the afternoon.

### Closing Thought

Another day, another ATH for stocks while crypto traders stare at their portfolios like confused Golden Retrievers. Some things never change—except maybe the Fed’s policy stance, apparently.