Fed Rate Cut Bets Surge After CPI Shock—Crypto Traders Go All-In

Markets just flipped the script. September’s Fed rate cut odds skyrocketed after the latest CPI data—and crypto degens are already levering up.

### The Fed Put Is Back (Again)

Traders now pricing in a 70% chance of a September pivot. Because clearly, the ‘transitory’ inflation narrative wasn’t embarrassing enough the first time.

### Crypto’s Pavlovian Response

Bitcoin pumps 5% on the news. Altcoins follow like clockwork. Meanwhile, Wall Street still can’t decide if crypto is an inflation hedge or a risk asset—pick a lane, guys.

### The Real Winner? Leverage

Perps funding rates turn positive as traders front-run the liquidity tsunami. Because nothing says ‘prudent investing’ like 50x longs on a Fed whisper.

Here we go again: the market’s hooked on cheap money, the Fed’s trapped, and your local crypto bro just YOLO’d his rent money into memecoins. Some things never change.