đ¨ Market Rollercoaster: Snap Crashes 30%, Disney Smashes Earnings, Uber Flexes Buybacks & McDonaldâs Sizzles
Wall Street's wild ride continuesâtech gets mauled while Mickey Mouse prints money.
Snap's faceplant: Another 'growth' story tripped over its own ad business. Who could've seen that coming?
Disney's magic act: Streaming losses finally shrinkingâturns out firing 7,000 people does wonders for margins.
Uber's shareholder pacifier: $7B buyback announced right after drivers unionized. Coincidence? Absolutely not.
McDonald's revenge tour: Inflation-weary consumers flock back to Big Macsâapparently $18 salads weren't 'core demand.'
Meanwhile in crypto-land: Bitcoin hodlers smirk as traditional markets rediscover volatility. 'You merely adopted the red candles...'