Amazon Crushes Q2 2025: Online Sales & AWS Fuel Blockbuster Earnings Beat

Wall Street braces for impact as Amazon's cash-printing machine revs into overdrive.

The e-commerce juggernaut flexes

Another quarter, another 'surprise' beat—because apparently analysts still haven't learned to factor in Amazon's habit of underpromising and overdelivering (except when it comes to delivery times).

Cloud kingdom keeps expanding

AWS continues minting money while rivals play catch-up—because when your biggest competition is Microsoft and Google's identity crises, life's good.

Retail's not dead—it's just Amazon's side hustle now

Online sales surge proves consumers will still click 'buy now' between doomscrolling sessions and crypto trades.

Another earnings victory lap for Bezos' empire—just don't ask about the warehouse working conditions or antitrust concerns. Priorities, people.