Sweat Equity: How Gym Gains Might Cancel Out Campus Binge Culture
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Late-night keg stands meet early-morning deadlifts—new research suggests fitness routines could hedge against the metabolic fallout of collegiate excess. Turns out burning the candle at both ends works better when you’re actually burning calories.
The study—buried under Ivy League endowments and crypto bro gym selfies—found students who paired partying with regular exercise showed fewer long-term health impacts than their sedentary counterparts. Who knew squats could offset shotgunning?
Wall Street analysts remain skeptical—unless someone monetizes workout-powered liver function as an NFT. Until then, the best ROI might just be not dying before your student loans do.
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