Satoshi Statue Heist: Bitcoin’s Mysterious Founder Strikes Again—Statue Stolen, Recovered Damaged

In a twist fit for crypto's anarchic lore, a statue honoring Bitcoin's pseudonymous creator was swiped—only to turn up battered days later. Was it a rogue maximalist? A disgruntled shitcoiner? The blockchain doesn't lie... but it won't talk either.

The Heist: Anonymous in Action

Thieves bypassed security (likely a padlock and prayers) to abscond with the Satoshi effigy—proof that even crypto's saints aren't safe from 51% attacks.

Recovery Mode: Not Your Keys, Not Your Statue

Authorities found the bronze likeness facedown in a ditch, missing its cryptographic key-shaped scepter. A metaphor for institutional custody? We’ll let the VC-funded ‘security experts’ opine.

Epilogue: A $4.3M Restoration Fund (Paid in BTC, Naturally)

The local tourism board launched a crowdfund to repair the damage—because nothing says ‘decentralization’ like a government-backed NFT auction. Satoshi would *facepalm*… if he had a face.

A statue honoring Bitcoin’s creator, Satoshi Nakamoto, was stolen in Lugano, Switzerland, raising alarm in the crypto community. Symbolizing Bitcoin’s anonymity, the statue mysteriously disappeared, prompting organizers at SatoshiGallery to offer a 0.1 BTC reward for any helpful information. It was later found broken near the Lugano waterfront. While the thief remains unknown, the incident has drawn attention to the growing cultural importance of Bitcoin and its symbols, even as questions remain about the motive behind the act.