Standard Chartered’s Bombshell ETH Forecast: $7.5K by December, $25K by 2028

Wall Street's crystal ball gazers at Standard Chartered just slapped a rocket on Ethereum—predicting a moonshot to $7,500 by New Year's Eve and a staggering $25,000 within three years.
The bank's analysts, presumably straight-faced, cited 'structural demand drivers' while traders immediately checked if their margin accounts could handle the hopium. Remember when ETH at $4K seemed outrageous? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
One hedge fund manager we spoke to muttered 'price targets are horoscopes for finance bros' before refreshing his long positions. The real question: Will institutions FOMO in hard enough to make these numbers stick—or is this another case of sell-side analysts doing lines of optimism?