Trump’s 401(k) Crypto Revolution: Bitcoin Soars as Retirement Plans Embrace Digital Assets

Washington shakes as the former president backs Bitcoin in retirement accounts—Wall Street's old guard just felt the tremor.

The Policy Punch

No more waiting for regulatory fairy tales. The Trump administration's latest move slashes red tape, letting 401(k) plans dive headfirst into crypto. Bitcoin rallied 12% on the news—because nothing screams 'retirement security' like volatile digital assets, right?

Why Main Street Cares

Forget bonds and mutual funds. Now your grandma's nest egg can moon (or crater) alongside meme coins. Fidelity and BlackRock are already retooling plans—while traditional advisors clutch their pearls.

The Fine Print

Early withdrawals still get taxed into oblivion. But hey, at least you'll lose money in exciting new ways!

*Closing thought: Nothing unites boomers and degens like the promise of tax-advantaged speculation. God bless America.*