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France Moves to Shield Crypto Traders After String of High-Profile Kidnappings—Because Nothing Says ’Store of Value’ Like Needing a Bodyguard
France Moves to Shield Crypto Traders After String of High-Profile Kidnappings—Because Nothing Says ’Store of Value’ Like Needing a Bodyguard
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Paris tightens security protocols for digital asset professionals as criminals target crypto wealth. The irony? Traditional banks still charge more in fees than any kidnapper’s ransom demand.
New measures include panic buttons, mandatory security training, and—because we live in the dumbest timeline—a public registry of ’low-risk’ crypto offices. Because decentralization was totally about putting your workplace on a government list.
One unnamed trader quipped: ’Now when Lambo? After police escort.’
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