🚀 S&P 500 & Nasdaq Soar Toward Record Highs as Fed Rate Cut Hopes Surge Post-CPI Report

Wall Street’s bulls are back in charge—and they’ve got inflation data on their side. The latest CPI report just lit a rocket under rate-cut bets, sending the S&P 500 and Nasdaq hurtling toward all-time highs. Forget ‘soft landings’—this is a full-blown moon mission.

### The Fed’s Poker Face Cracks

Traders are calling the Fed’s bluff after cooler CPI numbers. Suddenly, those ‘higher for longer’ rate mantras sound about as convincing as a meme coin’s whitepaper. Futures markets now price in cuts like they’re going out of style.

### Tech Eats the World (Again)

Nasdaq’s leading the charge—because when has cheap money ever hurt hypergrowth tech? FAANG stocks are drinking the liquidity punch like it’s 2021. Meanwhile, value investors quietly update their LinkedIn profiles.

### The Cynic’s Corner

Another inflation ‘victory’ built on hedonic adjustments and statistical wizardry. But hey—if the market’s buying it, who are we to argue? Just don’t look at the national debt clock.