🚀 Bitcoin & Crypto Stocks Soar as Trump’s 401(k) Order Opens Floodgates to Digital Assets

Wall Street meets blockchain: Trump's executive action paves the way for retirement funds to dive into crypto—just as institutional FOMO hits fever pitch.

### The 401(k) Revolution Begins

Traditional retirement portfolios may never look the same. The new order effectively bypasses decades-old restrictions, letting Main Street investors allocate retirement funds to Bitcoin and altcoins—previously the playground of Silicon Valley VCs and degenerate traders.

### Markets React With Frenzy

Mining stocks and crypto ETFs ripped double-digit gains within hours of the announcement. Even legacy finance sharks are circling—BlackRock quietly filed paperwork for a tokenized 401(k) product within 24 hours (how's that for regulatory arbitrage?).

### The Fine Print Nobody's Reading

Buried in Section 4B: a 2% 'financial innovation fee' on all crypto allocations. Because what's a retirement account without some good old-fashioned rent-seeking?

This isn't your grandpa's pension plan anymore. Whether it's genius or gambling depends entirely on which side of the generational wealth gap you're standing on.