JPMorgan’s Bombshell: Bitcoin Dirt Cheap vs. Gold—Even Amid Market Bloodbath

Wall Street's favorite vampire squid strikes again—this time with a crypto twist.
JPMorgan just dropped a truth bomb on traditionalists: Bitcoin isn't just outperforming gold, it's trading at fire-sale prices despite the market carnage. Here's why the smart money's paying attention.
The Gold Comparison That'll Make Goldbugs Sweat
While boomers stack shiny rocks, Bitcoin's network effect keeps accelerating. JPMorgan's analysis suggests BTC's current pullback might be the discount of the decade when measured against its store-of-value rival.
Market Rout? More Like a Fire Sale
Every leveraged long getting liquidated right now is handing HODLers a gift. The bank's metrics imply Bitcoin's fundamentals haven't been this attractive since pre-2021—back when institutional FOMO sent prices parabolic.
Of course, JPMorgan will probably deny this report once their private wealth clients finish accumulating. Some things never change in high finance—like banks talking their book with a straight face.