PayPal Stock Tanks Despite Earnings Beat—Wall Street’s Bizarre Punishment Game

Another quarter, another Wall Street logic pretzel. PayPal smashed earnings—then watched its stock get gutted like a deflationary meme coin.

The Numbers Don’t Lie (But Traders Do)

Revenue up. Profits beat. Guidance solid. Yet shares cratered 8% in after-hours—because ‘growth’ wasn’t explosive enough for the algo-trading overlords. Apparently ‘printing money’ now requires a 1000% CAGR to impress this market.

The Cynic’s Take

Classic buy-the-rumor, sell-the-news action. Institutional bagholders needed exit liquidity before Q3’s macro headwinds hit. Bonus jab: If PayPal issued a token instead of earnings, it’d be up 300% on pure hopium.

Bottom Line

Fundamentals? Irrelevant. The market’s a casino where earnings beats get punished and vaporware gets valued at $50B. PayPal’s crime? Being profitable—but not ludicrously so.