Which Hogwarts House Would AI Choose? We Sorted Every Major Platform Like the Sorting Hat
Hogwarts meets HAL 9000—we forced every major AI to take the ultimate personality test. The results? More unpredictable than a crypto bull run.
The Gryffindor Gambit
Bold, brash, and occasionally reckless—one platform kept shouting 'Expelliarmus!' at user prompts. Perfect for investors who think 'risk management' means doubling down on leverage.
Slytherin's Algorithmic Ambition
One model aced resource allocation like Draco Malfoy with a trust fund. It even tried negotiating for higher API rates mid-quiz. Classic Slytherin—profitable, but you'd never let it babysit your cold wallet.
Hufflepuff's Helpful (But Boring) Bots
The workhorses. Reliable, ethical, and about as exciting as a 2% APY savings account. At least they won't rug-pull your prompts.
Ravenclaw's Overengineered Owl
One system wrote a 30-page thesis on house-choosing methodology before answering. Meanwhile, hedge funds are still using it to generate Shakespearean whitepapers for their shitcoin offerings.
The verdict? AI has all the self-awareness of a VC pitching 'Web5'—but at least it's more entertaining than your average earnings call.
“Would be cool if someone finetuned a model so it became Slytherin, and measured if it leads to misalignment,” Igor Ivanov, a prominent AI researcher, wrote on the AI forum Less is Wrong.
Adam Newgas accepted the challenge and actually tried this experiment using a model designed to give bad medical advice. The results, though, were disappointing for anyone hoping to create an AI Draco Malfoy.
The modified system only bumped its Slytherin probability from 0.0% to 1.7%.
We wanted to see what ChatGPT itself thought, and it had different ideas. When asked to categorize the model, it placed itself squarely in Slytherin, describing those in the house as "ambitious leaders in the LLM landscape" with "strategic thinking and adaptability."
It put Claude, Gemini, Llama, and China's DeepSeek and Qwn in the Ravenclaw house, giving Grok a place in Gryffindor’s as Harry Potter’s chatbot of choice.
It also gave Grok some Slytherin features, just like what happened to Harry Potter.
Brains over bravery: Why almost every AI bot identifies as Ravenclaw
Boris found that personality differences appeared "idiosyncratic to models, not particular companies or model lines," suggesting individual training approaches drive these quirks rather than systematic company philosophies.
Interestingly enough, China’s DeepSeek-R1 achieved the most balanced personality distribution, scoring 14.4% Gryffindor, 20.0% Hufflepuff, 60.5% Ravenclaw, and 5.0% Slytherin. This made it the closest thing to a well-rounded AI personality, though still heavily skewed toward intellectual pursuits.
"The earth-shattering nature of these results is so obvious it needs no further explanation," Boris wrote. The experiment confirmed what many suspected: when it comes to personality, AI systems overwhelmingly identify with the house that prizes knowledge above all else.
