Moo Deng Skyrockets as Zoo Leaks Pygmy Hippo’s Viral Birthday Bash Plans
Move over, Bitcoin—Moo Deng's chart just turned into a pygmy hippo-shaped rocket. The obscure crypto surged 420% after a zoo's birthday party press release accidentally became the market's hottest alpha.
Forget fundamentals. A viral video of the 3-foot hippo named 'Tubs' demolishing a watermelon cake triggered the rally. Traders piled in faster than zookeepers could say 'regulatory risk.'
Wall Street analysts scrambled to update models: 'We're modeling 12-month price targets based on cake consumption rates and Instagram engagement,' joked one hedge fund manager while secretly buying the dip.
The zoo's merch store started accepting Moo Deng—because nothing says 'sound investment' like tying your bags to an animal that spends 18 hours a day submerged in mud.
