Iran’s Nobitex Roars Back After $90M Bitcoin, Dogecoin & Tron Heist – Hackers Left Holding Bags?
Nobitex—Iran’s largest crypto exchange—just flipped the 'on' switch after a brutal $90M hack drained Bitcoin, Dogecoin, and Tron holdings. The platform’s reboot comes with the usual promises of 'enhanced security' and 'user reimbursements'—because nothing says 'trust us' like getting robbed blind first.
The Breach Breakdown
Attackers exploited undisclosed vulnerabilities (classic), swiping digital assets mid-transaction. Nobitex claims no user data was compromised—just their crypto stacks. The heist targeted three major coins, proving hackers have a taste for both blue-chip and meme-worthy assets.
Damage Control Mode
The exchange is now scrambling to audit its systems while offering vague assurances about 'future-proofing.' Users report mixed feelings—relief at the relaunch, fury at the irony of a financial platform needing bailouts itself. Meanwhile, Dogecoin fans joke about 'involuntary diamond hands.'
Crypto’s Recurring Nightmare
Another day, another 8-figure hack. The incident underscores crypto’s eternal paradox: decentralized dreams relying on centralized choke points. Nobitex joins the hall of shame alongside Mt. Gox and Poly Network—because in crypto, history doesn’t repeat, it withdraws.
