AMZN Soars: Amazon’s $300B Market Value Surge Sends Shares Rocketing 9%
Wall Street's favorite trillion-dollar toddler just got a growth spurt—Amazon adds $300 billion in market cap overnight, with shares leaping 9%.
The Bezos Bump Strikes Again
No fancy 'web3' buzzwords needed—old-school e-commerce still moves markets when AWS and Prime flex. Analysts scramble to upgrade targets while short sellers nurse 20th-century biases.
P/E Ratios Are for Cowards
The stock's now priced like a Martian colony futures contract—but who needs fundamentals when you've got monopoly momentum? Another win for the 'just keep reinvesting' playbook that makes value investors seethe.
One hedge fund manager was overheard muttering: 'They could sell Alexa data as NFT collectibles tomorrow and the street would cheer.' The machines have spoken—resistance is futile.
