🚀 Figma IPO Targets Tech-Crypto Crowd with $69.5M Bitcoin ETF Play – Wall Street Scratching Heads

Figma’s IPO just dropped a crypto-shaped bomb on traditional finance—and Silicon Valley’s eating it up.

The $69.5M Bitcoin Bet

The design platform’s S-1 reveals a nine-figure Bitcoin ETF position, strategically courting the tech-crypto hybrid investor. Because nothing says ‘growth narrative’ like riding both SaaS valuations and digital gold.

Wall Street’s Identity Crisis

Goldman analysts reportedly needed three espresso shots after seeing ‘Blockchain’ and ‘IPO’ in the same deck. Meanwhile, crypto VCs are high-fiving over Figma’s implicit endorsement of Bitcoin as a treasury asset—take that, MicroStrategy.

The Cynical Kickeroonie

Because when your TAM slides need juicing, why not hitch your wagon to the most volatile asset class this side of meme stocks? Just don’t mention the 2022 crash in the roadshow.