Deutsche Bank Just Did the Unthinkable: Bitcoin Trading Goes Live in Mainstream Banking App

Traditional finance giants are finally surrendering to crypto's gravitational pull—and doing it through the backdoor of your grandma's banking app.

No more crypto exchanges, no more wallet hassles

Germany's banking behemoth just ripped the Band-Aid off: Bitcoin trading is coming directly to their mobile platform. No intermediaries, no 'educational' delays—just cold, hard BTC buys alongside your mortgage payments.

The institutional floodgates creak open

This isn't some fintech startup playing with APIs. We're talking about a 150-year-old institution with €1.3 trillion in assets suddenly offering clients a one-way ticket to volatility town. (Bonus points for launching this during ECB quantitative tightening—nothing like hedging against monetary policy with internet money.)

The cynical take

Watch how fast 'risk management' warnings disappear when those sweet, sweet trading fees start rolling in. Suddenly, Satoshi's whitepaper will be required reading in Frankfurt skyscrapers.