Big Tech Earnings Blitz: Amazon, PayPal, Alphabet, Palantir, AMD Set to Shake Markets
Grab your popcorn—this week's earnings circus is headlined by the usual suspects. Amazon's cloud margins, PayPal's payment pivot, Alphabet's AI ad machine, Palantir's government gravy train, and AMD's chip charge are all under the microscope. Forget macro trends; this is pure, unadulterated corporate confession season.
The Numbers Game
Every metric will be tortured for a bullish narrative. Revenue beats get cheers, guidance cuts trigger sell-offs, and forward-looking statements are parsed like ancient prophecies. It's the quarterly ritual where Wall Street pretends three months of data predicts the next decade.
Tech's Reality Check
These reports cut through the hype. Is AI actually driving profits, or just PowerPoint slides? Can digital advertising defy gravity? Does anyone still believe in 'metaverse' expenses? The answers shape trillion-dollar market caps overnight.
Market Mechanics on Steroids
Volatility traders feast on this chaos. Options volumes spike, algos scramble, and after-hours trading becomes a glitchy casino. One CEO's cautious cough can wipe out a mid-sized hedge fund.
The Verdict
Ultimately, these earnings are less about fundamental value and more about narrative control. The company that tells the best story—sorry, provides the most 'strategic clarity'—wins the quarter. The rest get downgraded by analysts who couldn't run a lemonade stand. Such is modern finance: a confidence game dressed in spreadsheet drag.
Disney, Palantir open the week with key misses or surprises
Disney kicks things off before the bell Monday, with a call at 8:30 a.m. ET. Last time, their shares slid 7% after mixed results.
For this quarter, LSEG data suggests profits likely dropped another 10%. The focus is on theme park attendance. Deutsche Bank’s Bryan Kraft wrote, “Theme Parks attendance remains a concern in F2026 given the slowdown in leisure travel that began (roughly) in September and was evident in Disney’s 4% domestic attendance decline during F4Q.” He added that Universal’s new Epic Universe may be taking a bite out of Disney’s traffic.
Also on Monday, Palantir Technologies reports after the bell. Their last quarter beat expectations and raised guidance. This time, LSEG sees their earnings and revenue jumping by at least 60%. But not everyone’s impressed. RBC analyst Rishi Jaluria said, “We cannot rationalize why Palantir is the most expensive name in our software coverage… valuation seems unsustainable.” Palantir stock has dropped after two of the last three reports.
Pepsi, Chipotle, and AMD pack Tuesday with tech and consumer trends
PepsiCo opens Tuesday’s slate with an 8:15 a.m. call. Last quarter, they beat estimates on the back of strong international demand. This round, analysts expect a 10% earnings increase. UBS analyst Peter Grom said Pepsi is “one of the few large-cap Staples names with a strong case for multiple expansion.” That’s yet to be proven.
Later, Chipotle reports after the close, with a 4:30 p.m. call. Their stock got crushed last time after cutting their sales outlook. Now, LSEG expects a slight earnings dip. The stock has lost over a third of its value in the last year. Still, Telsey’s Sarang Vora sees 2026 as a comeback story. “The share price should bounce back as comps turn positive in 2Q26+, cost pressures moderate, initiatives start to show results, such as menu innovation and loyalty, and investors refocus on the Core multi-year unit growth of 8%-10%,” he said.
AMD also reports Tuesday postmarket. Their last report beat the Street but only met margin expectations. For Q4, analysts expect 20% earnings growth. Harsh Kumar from Piper Sandler just lifted his price target to $300, saying, “We believe AMD will deliver revenue upside to the tune of $200 million… and EPS upside of at least $0.02.” Historically though, AMD stock falls on earnings days despite beating the Street 62% of the time.
Uber, Eli Lilly, Alphabet and Amazon close out the flood
Uber posts results early Wednesday, call at 8 a.m. Last quarter, revenue beat estimates, but shares dropped anyway. This quarter, LSEG says earnings will collapse 75% year-over-year. BofA’s Justin Post still sees signs of growth: “Mobility and Delivery industry appear to have performed well… new products like Reserve, Share, and Comfort also support growth.” Despite that, Uber stock has fallen after five straight reports.
Also Wednesday, Eli Lilly releases results at market open with a 10 a.m. call. Last quarter, they beat earnings and raised margin forecasts. This time, LSEG expects 30% growth from a year ago. The company recently announced a $3.5 billion factory project in Pennsylvania to expand its obesity drug pipeline.
Everyone’s watching their GLP-1 business closely. But history says caution; Lilly beat for four quarters straight, yet still dropped over 10% after two of them.
Alphabet reports after Wednesday’s close. Last quarter, they crossed $100 billion in revenue for the first time. LSEG sees 20% growth in earnings this quarter.
Ronald Josey of Citigroup wrote, “Given positive online advertising checks amid continued strong Google Cloud demand, we believe results are likely to come in above consensus revenue and GAAP EPS expectations.” Shares have risen after three straight reports.
Amazon wraps things up Thursday after hours, followed by a 5 p.m. call. Last quarter, they beat forecasts and raised spending plans. This time, analysts expect just a slight profit increase.
The stock has been the worst performer in the Magnificent Seven, up less than 1% over the past year. Amazon shares have dropped after three of the last four earnings reports, including an 8.3% loss after Q2 2025.
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