Metaplanet Guns for Bitcoin ’Escape Velocity’—Aggressive $1B Acquisition Strategy Sparks Market Frenzy

Tokyo's Metaplanet just declared financial war—with Bitcoin as its weapon of choice. The publicly-traded firm's board approved a staggering $1 billion BTC purchase mandate today, doubling down on its crypto treasury pivot.

Why the rush? Insiders whisper about 'institutional FOMO' as spot ETF inflows hit record highs. 'We're building a digital Fort Knox,' said CEO Yamada during a livestreamed announcement that crashed their investor portal twice.

The move comes as traditional finance dinosaurs still debate 'blockchain vs. real value'—apparently unaware the debate ended when Satoshi mined Genesis. Metaplanet's stock surged 17% post-announcement while short sellers scrambled to cover positions.

One hedge fund manager groaned: 'They're treating Bitcoin like a corporate raider treats undervalued assets—except this one can't be hostile-taken.' The company plans to fund purchases through yen-denominated bond sales, essentially shorting Japan's inflation crisis to go long on hyperbitcoinization.

Will this trigger a domino effect among Asia-listed firms? Watch the order books—when suits start stacking sats, you know we've crossed the Rubicon.