Israel Forced to Buy Millions in Crypto After Police ’Lose’ Suspect’s Wallet – Who’s Really Guarding Your Keys?

In a plot twist even crypto skeptics didn’t see coming, Israeli authorities are scrambling to replace millions in digital assets after a suspect’s wallet vanished under police supervision. Who needs hackers when you’ve got old-fashioned human error?

The Great Custodial Caper

Law enforcement’s 'ironclad' evidence locker somehow couldn’t secure a private key—proving once again that not your keys, not your coins applies even to governments. The missing funds? Enough to make a Wall Street banker finally understand why we’re all obsessed with self-custody.

Damage Control Mode

Taxpayers now foot the bill for this multi-million dollar oopsie, with officials quietly purchasing replacement crypto at market prices. Nothing boosts adoption like watching bureaucrats FOMO into digital assets to cover their tracks.

As the blockchain never forgets, this incident cuts through the usual 'crypto is for criminals' narrative—turns out the real security risk might just be the guys with the handcuffs. Maybe next time they’ll stick to seizing fiat… if they can find where they left it.