Crypto Carnage: Bitcoin Tumbles, Pi Network Implodes—Market Bloodbath in 5 Acts
Bitcoin’s nosedive below $60K triggers panic—altcoins follow like lemmings off a cliff.
Pi Network’s ’mainnet miracle’ turns tragic as token sheds 40%—turns out monopoly money burns faster.
Ethereum gas fees hit $200 amid memecoin frenzy, proving degens will pay anything to lose money creatively.
Binance halts withdrawals (again), because nothing says ’secure’ like midday maintenance during volatility.
And in today’s ’VCs vs. Reality’ showdown: another AI-crypto hybrid project quietly deletes its whitepaper.
Bonus cynicism: TradFi bros currently high-fiving over their 0.5% bond yields while this circus unfolds.
