Russia Tightens Crypto Mining Grip with New National Equipment Registry

Moscow rolls out Big Brother for Bitcoin miners—because nothing says 'decentralized' like a government database.

The Kremlin's latest power play

Russian authorities are now forcing crypto miners to register their ASICs and GPUs in a federal tracking system. Move over, private keys—here come state-issued serial numbers.

Heat-seeking regulation

The new registry lets officials monitor mining operations in real-time. Forget energy hogs slipping through Siberia's cracks—this system spots watt-wasters faster than a bull run drains exchange liquidity.

Miners between the rock and hard place

Operators must choose: comply and lose anonymity, or go rogue and risk equipment seizures. Meanwhile, energy companies cheer—finally someone's tracking all those 'lost' megawatts powering underground mining farms.

One bureaucrat's oversight is another oligarch's revenue stream. As always in Russia, the house wins—whether you're stacking rubles or satoshis.