Crypto Tycoon David Bailey Takes Nakamoto Holdings Public Via KindlyMD Merger—Stock Goes Supernova (+650%)

Wall Street meets blockchain in today’s most absurd market pop. David Bailey’s Nakamoto Holdings—a crypto investment vehicle with more hype than Bitcoin’s 2017 bull run—just announced a reverse merger with KindlyMD, a Utah-based healthcare provider. Cue the irrational exuberance: shares skyrocketed 650% on the news.

Why the frenzy? Speculators are betting Bailey’s crypto Midas touch will sprinkle magic internet money dust on KindlyMD’s medical cannabis business. Never mind that the two companies have as much natural synergy as a Bitcoin miner and a yoga studio.

The deal reeks of SPAC-era desperation—another shell game where ’going public’ means bypassing actual revenue metrics. But hey, in today’s market, a crypto founder’s Twitter following counts as a balance sheet asset. Bailey’s playbook? Simple: slap ’blockchain’ on anything and watch retail investors FOMO in. Worked for Dogecoin, right?