Coinbase Stumbles: Q1 Earnings Miss as Crypto Winter Chills Trading Volumes

Wall Street’s crypto darling just hit an iceberg—Coinbase’s Q1 earnings report shows a 10% drop in trading volume, sending analysts scrambling to downgrade projections. The ’market turmoil’ excuse? Heard that one before.

Revenue falls short, costs stay stubborn: While retail traders hibernated during the latest price slump, operating expenses barely budged—because nothing says ’Web3 efficiency’ like maintaining a 3,000-person workforce during a bear market.

The silver lining no one’s talking about: Institutional custody revenue actually grew 15% year-over-year. Too bad Wall Street only cares about the shiny retail trading metrics they can panic-sell over.

Bonus cynicism: Nothing reassures investors like a crypto exchange blaming ’market conditions’ for poor performance—as if volatility wasn’t the entire reason this industry exists.