Kraken Rolls Out VIP Crypto Prime Brokerage—Because Wall Street-Style Hand-Holding Wasn’t Exclusive Enough
Kraken just dropped a white-glove prime brokerage service for institutional crypto players—complete with over-the-top pampering that’d make a Goldman Sachs banker blush. Because nothing says ’decentralized future’ like replicating traditional finance’s most elitist perks.
The exchange’s new offering bundles custody, lending, and spot/futures execution with a bow—because hedge funds apparently can’t be trusted to manage their own cold wallets. Early adopters get the full concierge treatment: 24/7 dedicated support, bespoke OTC desks, and margin so deep it might as well be a Fed bailout.
Funny how crypto’s anti-bank rebels now demand the same coddling they once mocked. The revolution will be collateralized—and come with a dedicated account manager.
