Financial Frankensteins? Unpacking the Monsters in Your Portfolio This Thursday

Wall Street's latest creations are lurking in your funds—and they're not pretty. From algorithmic chimeras to derivative abominations, modern finance keeps stitching together riskier beasts.

Here's how to spot them before they turn on you.

The lab leaks you can't ignore: Synthetic ETFs with 300% hidden leverage, 'stablecoins' pegged to vapor, and structured products that would make Mary Shelley blush. All while traditional gatekeepers pretend they've got this under control.

One hedge fund manager puts it bluntly: 'We stopped tracking underlying assets in 2022. Now we just bet on which Frankenstein survives the next liquidity storm.'

Meanwhile, crypto's DeFi mutants evolve faster than regulators can name them—yielding 20% APY until they don't. (Pro tip: When something promises 'algorithmic stability,' grab your pitchfork.)

The closer: Maybe these monsters aren't the problem. Maybe we're the villagers still throwing money into the castle.